Movie Review: Get Hard

Comedy is a complicated genre for me. I was more susceptible at a young age, but conventional comedies today are not funny anymore. In those days, Adam Sandler was my hero; now he gives Jews a bad name, like Ben Stiller. Have I grown old or has humor evolved to the point that nothing is good anymore? I loved Robot Chicken, but after five seasons of referential humor, I stopped caring about the same time I gave up on Family Guy.

It has not all been depressing, though. I still love the Jackass movies, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and Archer. Like most of my generation, I have taken a keen interest in reactionary humor based on physical comedy. Bro Team Pill will never get old (https://youtu.be/fol9RM5IpFw), the best of Red Letter Media is watching them watch bad movies (https://youtu.be/3NTaoheLMvM), and I am one of the few Americans that even know about Kenny vs. Spenny (https://youtu.be/argsDLZJSYY). Regardless, Get Hard will be judged on its own merits and not how it appeals to me.

Then again, how can you judge something that has no merit?

You have a movie with funny people, but because the director obviously had their balls in a vice, they were not allowed to be funny. All the jokes and setups were blatantly telegraphed from a script written by idiots. Anything the actors might have done was edited out because the best lines are in the red-band trailer.

What makes it worse is the derivative, anti-capitalist message. The four idiots who wrote this know less about class warfare than being funny. I am too depressed to get angry over their gross mishandling of the subject. This is the billionth movie I have seen that has no idea what it is talking about. If this blog were not my job, I would have walked out, gone home, and watched Snowpiercer, a representation of class warfare.

I like Will Ferrell and I know he is capable of doing far better with other material. It is like watching a starved lion in a cage; you want to let him out so he can feel proud again. Ferrell needed to be free so he could salvage this carcass of a movie. As for Kevin Hart… well, you can only take the short guy shtick so far. However, I cannot blame him because this film is garbage.

If you want to see Get Hard, you are stupid. If you know someone who thinks it is funny, punch them in the throat. I cannot fully articulate how it saddens me to see great comedians held back by a hack script, made by hacks. Etan Cohen, Jay Martel, Ian Roberts, and Adam McKay make Adam Sandler look like Oskar Schindler. I hope this movie flops so bad it destroys their careers. They have no right to succeed. For Christ’s sake, THIS is funnier than anything in Get Hard: https://youtu.be/o6tV1yfEPTk?t=27s.

 

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